Fear is paralyzing.

Fear is painful.

Fear can cause illness.

Fear. Is. Necessary.

It was a Monday and I had pain on the right side of my stomach, a little towards the back. I didn’t think much of it and the next day the pain was gone. On Wednesday, the pain returned and the intensity gradually increased all day. As I lay in bed that night, I couldn’t lay on my right side and if I laid on my left side, I couldn’t even rest my arm on my right side. The pain was too intense so I slept through the night on my back. Because I am not a fan of doctors, I said to myself, ‘if this pain doesn’t go away by Friday, I will go to urgent care.”

Thursday morning came and the pain was still there but now I FELT bad. Before it was just the pain, like any other pain, but overall, I still felt well. This feeling was different. There was an overall bad feeling throughout my body.

There was truly something going on with me and I needed to figure it out. I looked the symptoms up online and found appendicitis, gallstones and irritable bowel syndrome as possible diagnoses. I zeroed in on appendicitis because my ex-husband had emergency surgery in 2017 and was told had he not gone to the hospital when he did, there was a great chance that he would not have been alive 24 hours later.

This couldn’t be appendicitis. Could it?

I napped on and off on Thursday, walked around grimacing and wondering what was going on with my body. I never get sick. I was unable to be productive. The pain was too great. The miserable feeling was consuming me. My mind was playing tricks on me.

Or should I say FEAR was playing tricks on me.

As I lay in the bed Thursday night, a moment of clarity came over me. The origin of the pain wasn’t internal. There was something going on in my external world that was manifesting as pain internally. But what could it be?

I texted a longtime friend and described to him what was happening with my body. His text was simple and straight to the point…

“There is a weakness in your right kidney due to fear and lack of willpower to step out on faith and run your own business doing whatever it is you love.”

BULLSEYE.

The moment I finished reading the text, the overall bad feeling I had been experiencing all day, instantly vanished. The pain in my side started to dissipate and was totally gone by morning and has not returned.

FEAR was the root cause. Fear started a war with me and was defeating me – one painful moment at a time.

Here is what that longtime friend didn’t know:

• He didn’t now that I had re-launched the Amazing Woman Network.
• He didn’t know that I had been having calls with women who want to help push this entire movement forward.
• He didn’t know that women were excited about it and being drawn to it.
• He didn’t know that I was thinking about the sheer magnitude of my assignment from God – the way God gave it to me.
• He didn’t know that the assignment scared the hell out of me.

Fear is paralyzing.

Fear is painful.

Fear can cause illness.

Fear. Is. Necessary.

The fear caused such great pain paralyzing me all week, prohibiting any movement in my assignment.

Had I not addressed the root cause of the pain – fear – those possible diagnoses may have become a reality only to be fed prescription medicine to “heal” me, never realizing the cause was fear, never defeating fear and never pushing through on my assignment.

The fear was necessary. Once I understood that fear was attempting to defeat me, I was able to be the victor. I was able to laugh (or at least giggle) in the face of fear and thank it for showing me just how great and necessary this movement – this assignment from God – really is. If it weren’t great and necessary, there would be no attacks of fear trying to stop me. If it weren’t great and necessary, the road would be easy.

Please understand, although there is no longer the pain and bad feeling, FEAR is still attacking me. I am able to recognize it quicker and therefore overcome it faster but it still shows up. There are moments when I want to Forget Everything And Run but instead, I continue to Face Everything And Rise and replace FEAR with FAITH and come out the victor.

It is the FAITH that allows me to complete one task at a time, to keep pushing forward, to just do the work knowing that if God gave me the assignment, I can do it. Failure will only come if I let FEAR win.

Whatever your assignment, FEAR will come for you but just because it comes, and continues to come, doesn’t mean it will be the victor. Recognize it for what it is, go within for answers and strength and step further out on FAITH and Face Everything And Rise. After all, everything you ever wanted is on the other side of FEAR!

If I can do it, surely you can!

My Year of No Fear!

Crystal

January 2014 in Michigan… approximately 37+ inches of snow fall; negative 9 degree temperatures; the kids have missed at least 7- 10 days of school due to frigid temps and events and meetings postponed or cancelled! And to top it off, one of my very best friends moved to Arizona just before the 1^st winter storm, so I have to hear about 75 degree days and how good the weather is in AZ. UGH! What a way to start a new year.

I LOVE the SUN!  I desire and NEED the sun. 80-degree temps make my day. I get excited with warm weather and longer days. I am super charged to do more, create more, BE MORE!

I could feel myself getting sucked into the COLD Weather Blues. You know, when you want to just go home, put on some really warm clothes, grab a blanket and just lay on the couch and get lost in a great book.

I am notorious for reading 3 books at one time. I love it. My thirst for knowledge is fierce, BUT I have deadlines to meet, products to create, videos to record and blog posts to write. I have no time for the cold weather blues.

Life, in January, was passing me by. Remembering my earlier post from this January, The Experience, I had to find a release.

Release – set free from confinement, restraint or bondage. Yes! This is what I needed.

So as I do in every area of my life, I turned it over to the Creator and asked Him to provide the release. It came in the oddest way.

It was 4am Friday morning and I was wide-awake. Typically when this happens, knowing that I have 2 more hours before I need to rise, I try to fall back to sleep. This obviously was not a typical situation.

I couldn’t fall back to sleep and as I accepted the fact that I was awakened for a reason, I asked for the reason to be revealed.  Well, true to form, my God delivered.

I decided to grab a blanket, go downstairs and sit in front of the window and just watch the Universe. Take a peek at what was going on at 4am. It was dark, everything was quiet, no one was stirring and there was a 14-inch blanket of snow covering the courtyard outside of my window. Let’s face it; as much as we may dislike driving in the snow, there is an extreme beauty and peacefulness to it when watching it from the warmth of your home.

Now watch Him work!

About 15 minutes into my observation of God’s gift lying right outside my window, there came hopping along another gift. I saw something moving and discovered it was a rabbit. Yes! A rabbit! The same rabbit that I see when out jogging and in the early mornings as I leave out to take my daughter to school.

I hadn’t seen him in a while. Had no thought or concern to where he had gone during the snow storms and the frigidly cold weather but as I saw him this morning, I could only chuckle and say softly “thank you God, I got it now.”  

Cold Weather Blues be gone! This small creature, out in the early morning, not being sidetracked by the cold, not being stopped by the snow, but going about his business, experiencing life and doing what he needed to do to get all he needed to survive, despite the difficulties that lay before him.

I now thanked God for the cold weather and the snow because as it keeps me still, barricaded in my warm home, with a chance to listen to Him, I mean really listen to Him, I can hear what He wants me to do, what He wants me to be, what He wants me to create and how much more He will provide.

Release!

Thank you God!

And no, it didn’t stop there!

You see, the previous day I was asked to speak at an upcoming woman’s event, and of course agreed and instantly knew what my topic was to be, but I had no idea about the words to use to deliver it. So of course, I asked for the answer to be revealed.

You guessed it! He went to work again. In those early hours of the morning, I received my answer. He delivered to me the entire speech in less than 30 minutes. BOOM!

This is how He works!

So now, as I sit in the midst of another snowstorm to be followed by yet another one in 3 days, I say, “Bring It On!” I look forward to the opportunity to receive all that He has to download to me. I am excited about what the time will manifest. I welcome The Experience.

The next time you are experiencing your own form of the ‘Cold Weather Blues’ or something has you stuck, think about that tiny rabbit, hopping along in the frigid temps and 14 inches of snow, dealing with it! Co-creating his life and experiencing it! Realize just how blessed you truly are, sit in silence and receive your answer.

Are YOU listening?

~Crystal

Often times it is during this part of the year that people tend to make resolutions. Or set new goals in life, be it personal, career or even religious ones, as well.

These “resolutions” generally last for about a month. Maybe well into february if one is really dedicated. And then they revert back to their “old self”. Banishing all thoughts of resolutions, until the end of the year.

What happens to the time inbetween the year? Supposing one decides to make a change either in thought or deed. Do we have to wait for the new year?
Exodus 33: 14 My presence will go with you and I will give you rest.
This scripture essentially tells us that God will be with us unconditionally. So if we decide to make a change irrespective of the time of year you may because of God’s assurance of His presence being with us and giving us rest.

The new year may have started off slow for some, some might have not even started. Don’t lose hope. Keep speaking positively into your life and watch things turn around.

One needs to bring their future into the present and the present is the only time that we can take action. So goals give you the ability to do something today to create the future you desire.

For it is not how you start the year off. It’s about how you’re going to finish it off.

~written by Sherece Phillay for Crystalized.Info